Hey! Where do I keep my dad jokes? In a dad-a-base…

So I’m very far behind… and after this e-mail goes out tonight, you get to submit your minutes for the next week tomorrow. So without further ado the dad joke and gratitude edition with pictures. Since the last time I emailed out a image heavy e-mail to the list-serv, the email failed miserably, so hopefully you found this link. Enjoy! 🙂

Good evening list-serv– I managed to peel my eyes open long enough to stare down two weeks worth of activity data and mash them up into our two teams. Just in case, we mashed together a few divisions and the winner was…. (in bold)

Team Blue Devil Horns (21,276minutes)
(SEPS + SEST + IT + SA + Facilities + Presidents Office)

Team Blue Devil Hooves (25,936 minutes)
(CLASS + SOB + Athletics + Library + AcAff/Staff/Admin)

Way to show some CLASS you SOBs, you did it! By a few thousand minutes. They have Shelly from Athletics who apparently does not sleep they are so active. Now for some fun stuff

This week we requested your best cringeworthy/dad jokes and…

So let’s get to it! Bonus minutes for next week if you use one of these jokes in a department meeting, with your boss, or with kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, or in your next class! Jokes are in no particular order and a few of our favorites are in the attached PDF report with some other fresh jokes from our team. I should warn you, I’ve been sending my department a dad joke a day for the past few months—they weren’t laughing then—and they’re probably not laughing now 😉.

• “Q: What do you call a magician who loses his magic? A: Ian
• My grandfather always said his secret to his long-lasting marriage was that my grandmother was blind and he was deaf. #cringeworthy”
• What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
• Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? No-body to go with
• Why are you never hungry at the beach? Because of all the sand which is there!
• Knock knock, who’s there, orange, orange who, orange you glad I told you this joke
• Knock knock, who’s there? who….who who? What are you an owl. hahahaha!
• What do you call a snail that isn’t moving? An escar-stay.
• daughter age 6 drops a dime: oh no! I dropped my 10 centses. But Mom, I really only have 5 senses. That’s my joke. Good one huh?
• What shape is always getting into an accident? A “rec”tangle.
• The other day during a virtual teaching session, I kept hearing music and I could not figure out where it was coming from. After shutting everything off, I realized the music was coming from my printer. Apparently the paper was jamming.
• Today I gave my dead batteries away. They were free of charge.
• Why didn’t the homeowner confront the thief who stole his gate? He was worried he might take offense.
• Did you hear about the volcano? It was a real ash hole. (Came up with that one myself.)
• Today I gave my dead batteries away. They were free of charge.
• Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
• Did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
• Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the moooooovies.
• Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Hahaha
• What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long? A pi-thon.
• What is Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
• How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans 🙂
• Why do dogs carry bones in their mouth? Because they don’t have pockets.
• I opened a restaurant on the moon, but it failed. No atmosphere.
• What if my dog only brings back the ball because he thinks i like throwing it?
• I’m not sure why I love Switzerland so much…but the flag’s a big plus!
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
• How do you organize a space party? You planet…

Lastly we asked everyone what is a simple pleasure you are grateful for? Take a look below. What words jump out at you? 😊

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